Those pictures on that website are for the 94 and 95 accord. I have the same car as you (95 EX), and have those connectors.

The 96 line on that site is misleading. The 96 (and 97) accord has that two pin connector, but it does not have the 3-pin connector next to it.

Now I am not sure why your connector is missing. It could have been pushed behind the glove box. I would remove the glove box to see if it is back there.

You can pull out the ashtray to see if there is a black 16-pin connector like in the picture below. That would mean that a 96/97 engine (or H22 engine) was swapped into that car and the 96/97 wiring harness was used.

 

ok so i found the wires they were up where you said once i pulled the glove box down,.... and the were actually loose (not attached to anything) is that a problem?

anyway i got 4 longs and 1 short which is a o2 sensor which makes sense because it needs a exhaust from the cat back which we need to order

http://s60.photobucket.com/albums/h2...er_media_share

http://s60.photobucket.com/albums/h2...er_media_share

 

The O2 sensor is on the exhaust manifold, so it shouldn't be missing. See page 11-34 in that shop manual and follow the electrical tests in that tree for a code 41.

If you find that the O2 sensor is bad, Denso makes the honda sensor. Buy a denso sensor online, because it is much cheaper than one from the dealership.

The wires behind the glove box plug into a dummy connection, so it won't hurt to have them loose. You can pick up that blue plug from a junkyard if you want to have them plugged in like in that picture.

The cruise control not working + bad speedometer usually means the vehicle speed sensor is bad. A bad VSS will show a code 17, which you don't have. Before you dig into the instrument cluster, pull that the cruise control actuator cable at the throttle body. It should be able to pull back that plastic piece on the TB. Sometimes the plastic piece can break and cause the CC to not work. (see page 23-99)

Are the turn signals working now?

 

You are the F'ing man! I'll keep u posted. Thanks again for ALL your help
& this bum still hasn't bought those lights btw