**JOKES here (Funny/KLEEN, Oneliners & Short Stories)**
#61
05-19-2010, 12:24 AM
Administrator
Time To Throw Another Joke Down On You..So Here Goes
PREIST and PASTORA preist and a pastor from the local parishes were standing by the
side of the road holding up a sign that read, " The End is Near! Turn
yourself around now before it's too late!"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first
driver sped past, he yelled to them, "Leave us alone...we don't
believe in that religious stuff!"
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a Big Splash.
One clergyman said to the other, " Do you think we should just put up
a sign that says, " Bridge Out' instead?"
Hope you all liked it...till later
WheelBrokerAng
#62
05-27-2010, 11:26 PM
Administrator
Been A Few Days Since I Posted Any Jokes - So Here You Are
More Interesting Ideas:
I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
They told me I was gullible....and I believed them.
A flash light is a case for holding dead batteries.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
Protons have Mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
UNTILL Later
I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
They told me I was gullible....and I believed them.
A flash light is a case for holding dead batteries.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
Protons have Mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
UNTILL Later
#63
06-07-2010, 01:52 AM
Administrator
It's Time Again For A Couple Of These**Hope You Like Them
If You Have Some One You Can Read This To At Home Give Them This Joke Story...Enjoy !
Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in
the hospital. His best friend Angelo came to visit him.
Bernie struggles to tell Angelo, " My wife Sadie visits me three times
a day. She's so good to me.
Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."
" What does she read?. asks Angelo.
" Why, my life insurance policy." said Bernie.
Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in
the hospital. His best friend Angelo came to visit him.
Bernie struggles to tell Angelo, " My wife Sadie visits me three times
a day. She's so good to me.
Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."
" What does she read?. asks Angelo.
" Why, my life insurance policy." said Bernie.
#64
06-08-2010, 09:32 AM
Administrator
A Brave Man
A Brave Man
True Bravery is arriving home late after a guy's night out, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to
ask :
" Are YOU still cleaning or are You flying somewhere?"
True Bravery is arriving home late after a guy's night out, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to
ask :
" Are YOU still cleaning or are You flying somewhere?"
#65
06-15-2010, 06:52 PM
Administrator
Thank You NickWayne
Im happy that someone is reading them..
Come back later tonight and I will post a couple of more of them...
WheelBrokerAng
Come back later tonight and I will post a couple of more of them...
WheelBrokerAng
#66
06-15-2010, 11:37 PM
Administrator
And As Promissed, Here Are A Few More
You live in California when...
The high school quaterback calls a time out to answer his cell phone.
The fastest part of your commute to anywhere is going down your driveway.
and You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
Later !
The high school quaterback calls a time out to answer his cell phone.
The fastest part of your commute to anywhere is going down your driveway.
and You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
Later !
#67
06-21-2010, 11:53 AM
Administrator
Thes Few Are For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
A day without sunshine is like ... night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis ? Raise my hand.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
AND LAST :
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. And I'm
99.999 % sure of that.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis ? Raise my hand.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
AND LAST :
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. And I'm
99.999 % sure of that.
#68
06-29-2010, 01:44 AM
Administrator
Jokes For A Monday Morning...
Let's Call This Story Moving Day
One morning as professor Thompson was leaving for the college his wife told her absent - minded husband, " Don't forget we are moving today. If you come to this house this afternoon it will be
empty."
Predictably he didn't remember until he found the house vacated that afternoon. he mumbled to himself, " And where was it we were moving to?"
He went out in front of the house and asked a little girl, " Did you see a moving van here today, little girl?"
" Yes ", she replied.
" Can you tell me which way it went?"
She looked up at him and said, "Yes Daddy, I'll show you."
One morning as professor Thompson was leaving for the college his wife told her absent - minded husband, " Don't forget we are moving today. If you come to this house this afternoon it will be
empty."
Predictably he didn't remember until he found the house vacated that afternoon. he mumbled to himself, " And where was it we were moving to?"
He went out in front of the house and asked a little girl, " Did you see a moving van here today, little girl?"
" Yes ", she replied.
" Can you tell me which way it went?"
She looked up at him and said, "Yes Daddy, I'll show you."
#69
07-01-2010, 12:04 AM
Administrator
Brain's Cost
A man went in for a Brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him £10,000 or the Politician's which was £100,000.
"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.
"not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."
A man went in for a Brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him £10,000 or the Politician's which was £100,000.
"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.
"not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."
click the Yes image...
#70
07-11-2010, 12:31 AM
Administrator
It's Been Awhile So Here You Go Folks : The Wonderful Husband
This Story Is The Bomb: You wont forget it for a long, long Time
I Call It The Wonderful Husband
Man: "Hello"
Women: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Man: "Yes"
Women: " I'm at the mall now and I found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
Man: " Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
Women : " I also stoppedby the Mercedes dealership and sawthe new 2010 models. I saw one I really liked."
Man : "How much?"
Women : "$65,000."
Man : "OK, but for that price I want it with All the options, understand?"
Women : " Great! Oh, and one more thing...... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
Man : " Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer them $900,000
Women : "Ok. I'll see you later honey! I love you!"
Man : " Bye, I love you too." The man hangs up . All the other men in the locker room who were listening to this over the speaker phone are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles at them and he asks: " Does anyone know whose phone this is?"
Hope you all got a kick out of this story....
I Call It The Wonderful Husband
Man: "Hello"
Women: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Man: "Yes"
Women: " I'm at the mall now and I found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
Man: " Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
Women : " I also stoppedby the Mercedes dealership and sawthe new 2010 models. I saw one I really liked."
Man : "How much?"
Women : "$65,000."
Man : "OK, but for that price I want it with All the options, understand?"
Women : " Great! Oh, and one more thing...... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
Man : " Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer them $900,000
Women : "Ok. I'll see you later honey! I love you!"
Man : " Bye, I love you too." The man hangs up . All the other men in the locker room who were listening to this over the speaker phone are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles at them and he asks: " Does anyone know whose phone this is?"
Hope you all got a kick out of this story....