What do rednecks call duct tape ?

Chrome...

 

Taken from the real cop files and videos...

" You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on your speeding ticket , Huh?"

" Yeah, we do have a quota, Two more tickets today and my wife get's a new toaster oven."

There will be more jokes for you all soon

 

Saturday morning I got up early , quietly dressed, made my lunch , and slipped quietly into my garage. I hooked up the boat to to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed...I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, " The weather out there is terrible."

My Loving Wife of 5 years replied , " And , can You believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that.?

And that's how the fight started....

 

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the Doctors office and says that her body hurts all over wherever she touches it.

" Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The Redhead took her finger, pushed on her left wrist and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed even louder; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed some more. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, " Your not really a Redhead, are you?

" Well , No" She Said, " Im actually a Blonde."

" I thought so, " the doctor said. " Your finger is broken"

And the beat goes on..more to come later members and i hope your enjoying them all.. WBANG

 

- Where do forest rangers go to " Get away from it all"?

- The speed of time is one second per second.

- Is it possible to be totally partial.?

_ What's another word for Thesaurus.?

_ Is Marx's tomb a communist plot.?

_ Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who
can't get his pants off.

- It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

_ Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken.?

Later My Members and I will come back with more...

 

More Non-Deep Thoughts..seems like they make everyone think a little...so here goes !

- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up , he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

- They told me I was gulliable ... and I believed them.

- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

- Protons have mass? I didn't even know that they were catholic.

- Street Name ????? Coming Soon.!
It's going to be coming up pretty soon for all you members..so get ready for it real soon..your gonna like it...

WheelBrokenAngelo

 

If this story doesn't make you think about things we take for granted sometimes, nothing will !!!!

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her Loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, " If I could only see the world, I would marry you."


To Be Continued!

 

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her,
" Now that you can see the world, will you marry me.?

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of his closed eyelids shocked her so much that the thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to Marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: " Take good care of your eyes, my love, for before they were yours, they were mine."

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful of situations.

WheelBrokerAng

 

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and see's another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yohoo" she shouts , " how can I get to the other side ?

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
and then shouts back, " You are on the other side."

Duh!

 

Mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning.

"Nobody in school likes me," he complained. "The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me. I don't want to go to school ."

" But you have to go to school," said his mother sternly. "You're healthy, you have a lot to learn, you have something to offer others, you are a leader. And besides, you are 45 years old and you are the 'Principal'."

Oh Boy on this one huh.?

WheelBrokerAng