I am sorry.
I know it may seem like we all are just saying it because, well thats what people just do. But I think we all mean it.
When I held the mouse over your topic....I didn't click it after seeing the preview. My grandpa died in August, lived 2 hours away and I was there the night before.I saw him obviously suffering and gasping for air. Then I was told by my mom the next day while I was on HAF and just sat there stunned. After breaking down w/ my girlfriend and bawling my eyes out she helped me get through it and gave me some much needed laughs and wonderful memories that pulled me through. But, like I said earlier, We all do give our deepest condolences. We have all gone through some sort of tragedy and reading your post just made my heart sink. I cant say I know what you are going through because I dont.
But just know, I, like others will be praying for you and your dad.
And keep one thing in mind. We know that your Mother is in heaven and you have to realize she wouldnt want you to grieve forever or use some sort of alcohol or drug as an aid to deal with the devastation. I think you and your dad would make her proud by reminiscing about all the wonderful times and how she was the best mother/wife in the world.
Of course you need to grieve, and thats ok. Cry if you need to. You will find out who youre closest friends are, or discover new stronger relationships through this tragedy by the others who willbe there foryou.
Just know that she is watching you and your father and only wants the best for you two.

I am about to turn 19 and my dad is roughly the same age. Him and I are not that close. I dont talk to him about anything other than cars. Nothing about girls, or just that father and son talk :/. But if I were you I would take sometime by myself, and then be a crutch to me dad. Theres no need for either one of you to be "the man that doesnt cry". I would just make this a priority over anything else....there will always be work and school. But now there is something that nothing can compare to. Living w/ regret is not a life worth living. Just my opinion.

Again I am sorry.
If you need to vent, or cry, or anything else, know all of us our here, and you can send PM to whoever if you need to. We will understand.
We'll be praying.

 

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss.

You said you're in college, does that mean you don't live near home? Lotsa suggestions about 'just talking' with your dad, but if you live away that's not easy to do. But it's important now.

If you keep talking to him about anything, then when he needs to talk ABOUT your mom, it won't be that awkward situation of being the first thing you talk about in a year.

 

Very sorry to hear that. You have some good advice given in here. I cant imaginehow you feel right now.

 

Best. Words. Ever.

 

Kevin...your seeing a bunch of people in here who are feeling for you and I want to add this...All of you members who have posted to this thread....
I am so Very proud to be a member of this forum where we can get in here and help out a fellow member when he needs it the most...Kevin, all of us send you our condolence's ....

Angelo

[IMG]local://upfiles/22/0EF17CA4B35847BDBFC7DACD2E7E8606.jpg[/IMG]

 

I lost my mother about two years ago so I dounderstand your pain. I was the one in your Dad's position that had to bear the brunt of it all and handle everything. It wasn't easy and I could sure have used a friend......be his friend, he needs you now as you need him.

 

I really want to thank u all guys for your condolences and much needed help... As i read through ALL your comments, tears are runningdown my face. its amazing how ppl i haven't met could care so much for me... In HAF we truly are a family...I only cryed at the cementery (that was thefirst time i realized she was gone)... and now, reading your posts, Im in tears again...
im eternally greatful for all your support.

And, yes, i live +2 hours away... but i'll take a break from college to be w/ my dad... we have always been very close... and now he needs me... and i need him...

(i will be out for a while now, but i'll be back soon)
Thanks guys...

 

If you get back on here anytime soon, know this: Your mother would have probably wanted you to graduate from college. The thought of that should be a driving factor for you. My mother told me: "I want you to graduate from Ole Miss" before she died. neither she nor my dad graduated from college. It seemed that the thought of her wishes drove me to finish even more. The semester she died I got all A's and B's. I wound up graduating the next semester with a 3.37 (or 3.39 - heck i don't remember the exact number.) I almost got *** Laude.
A break may be necessary, but be sure to go back and finish college.
Try to go home and visit your dad at least one weekend per month while you are away at college. I know it is hard. My college was 2+ hours away from my dad's house, but I still made time to go see him. I think the weirdest thing for me was talking to my dad on the phone. Neither he nor I talk very much (believe it or not) so the conversatons usually only lasted around 1 minute consisting of: "How's it going?" "Good, how are you?" "Good, anything new going on?" "Nope." "OK talk to you later." I always called him at least once a week though, even if I knew the conversation would be short. I think it helped both of us.
I know you will be there for your dad and he for you. Take care of each other.

 

When my mom died I was already married & living500 milesaway. We (me, wife, kids) usually made it out to visit once or twice a year & we kept that up for dad. But obviously we couldn't actually move back. Dad didn't expect me to. And my youngest brother was still living close.

With my youngest brother as the instigator, my dad took up a new hobby. For him it was radio-control sailboats, but maybe you & your dad canthink of something... This was good for him, because over the following years dad's health made it difficult for him to keep up with his REAL boat (Erickson 27).

 

Thanx John,Im not thinking of quitting college at all, i was just gonna take a break, but i think it's not going to happen... i leve 2 hours away as well, but i'll still get home every weekend. Thanxs man, i appreciate everyone's help and support. i'll be gone in a few days, but i'll come back... whish me luck during these following days...