Please Post Jokes
#21
RE: Please Post Jokes
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill
the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the
other, then moved onto the next street, working furiously all day
without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in
again. As an onlooker I was amazed at their hard work, but I couldn't
understand what they were doing. So I asked the hole digger, “I'm
impressed by the effort the two of you are putting into your work, but
I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner
follow behind and fill it up again?” The hole digger wiped her brow
and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're
normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees
called in sick.”
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill
the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the
other, then moved onto the next street, working furiously all day
without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in
again. As an onlooker I was amazed at their hard work, but I couldn't
understand what they were doing. So I asked the hole digger, “I'm
impressed by the effort the two of you are putting into your work, but
I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner
follow behind and fill it up again?” The hole digger wiped her brow
and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're
normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees
called in sick.”
#22
RE: Please Post Jokes
ORIGINAL: RTexasF
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my ****. I can splash it on my eyes."
[sm=happybounce.gif] This one really Hit my Funny Bone.....
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my ****. I can splash it on my eyes."
[sm=happybounce.gif] This one really Hit my Funny Bone.....
#26
RE: Please Post Jokes
For the ladies....a blonde male joke!!!!!!!!!!!
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.
#27
RE: Please Post Jokes
Father And Son Talk
A little boy comes home from school and tells his father that his homework assignment is to find out the difference between “potentially” and “realistically.”
“Easy,” says his father. “First, ask Mom if she’d sleep with the mailman for a million dollars.”
The boy runs off, then comes back and says, “She said yes.”
“Now go ask your sister the same question,” advises the father.
Again the boy runs off, and again he comes back and says, “She said yes.”
“So, potentially, we’re sitting on two million dollars,” replies the father. “But, realistically, we’re living with a pair of ******.”
#29
RE: Please Post Jokes
Here is my new Joke of the day for all to read...
Q: If the Dove is the bird of Peace, what is the bird of true Love [sm=smiley27.gif] ?
A: The Swallow.
*[sm=smiley9.gif]me bad*
WheelBrokerAng
Q: If the Dove is the bird of Peace, what is the bird of true Love [sm=smiley27.gif] ?
A: The Swallow.
*[sm=smiley9.gif]me bad*
WheelBrokerAng