Holy crap! You guys added an entire page when I wasn't looking?!? Good stories btw. I'll fill in some of my own when I have more time. Things suddenly got extremely, rip your hair out hectic here.

 

so what, can we only expect 30 posts today...not the 100 we've been getting? haha

 

Only responding to convos that I'm already in. Done posting for today. Have a nice weekend everyone!

 

OK my last story for today. This one is about the same guy I posted about in my previous 2 stories. This is the moment I realized he was quite possibly the funniest guy I know and he will do anything (surprisingly he's really a quiet guy normally, he juast has these random moments.) So the story starts my sophomore year at Ole Miss living in the fraternity house. We had this little patio area behind the house where we used to hang out and drink & smoke & stuff since we weren't allowed to smoke in the house. The patio area had a driveway that ran back there so the kitchen staff could get shipments of food unloaded off the truck easily. No one was supposed to park there. This one guy who was a major toolbag (a year older than me - he was really short and had a terrible case of "little man" syndrome) had been parking his Maxima back there randomly and it was starting to aggrivate people. So we had been sitting there drinking for quite a while, and around 1 or 2 A.M. (I didn't have class till late the next day) we start talking about the car. Why should he get to park back here? We said. "What a tool." Then somebody goes "Some one should take a big dump right in the middle of his hood." Tyler (the guy from the above stories) goes: "I'll do it if nobody will ever tell him." So of course we all agreed, not thinking he would actually follow through. Tyler goes in side and walks out with some napkins. Then he pops right up on top of the hood, drops his pants, and lays a massive turn right in the middle of the hood! then he proceeded to wipe and strategically place the poopie napkins under the windshield wipers! I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. i thought I was going to have a heart attack.
"Little man syndrome guy" never found out who did it, and he never parked his car back there again. Haha, sometimes he'd be like "Does anybody know who sh** on my hood?" And we'd be like "Somebody sh** on your hood? That's disgusting!"
So remember that story next time you hear someone brag about their child or relative being a lawyer. You don't have to be a genius to do it, you just gotta have drive and ambition.

 

omg 00accord that some funny *poop* litterly

 

Smaglik, this is for you. i got it from my buddy Tyler's facebook profile under his "notes" application. He puts all kinds of random thoughts like this in there. I wish I could post more cause it's frickin hilarious, but It is not really clean enough material for the forum. This one I thought was OK and smaglik could probably relate.
Mods let me know if that was too much. I'll get rid of it.

Smaglik you actually reminded me a lot of this guy when I first got on here. With your statements about teabagging & Hot Karls. Tyler was the first person who I had ever heard the term "Hot karl" from as well as many others.

 

undefendable tea bags would suck. a lot.

 

just wondering ... what with you people and teabags?

Alaskan pipeline ftw.

 

Just something smaglik, in his infinite wisdom, started. Watch out for Hot Karls too.

 

My friend's story ....

[align=center]My 1997 motorcycle accident.[/align] [align=left][/align] [align=left]WHAT HAPPENED:[/align] [align=left] It all happened on Sunday Decemeber 21, 1997. I was riding home from my friend Irfans house at about 4pm. I was in the left lane of I-66 in Northern Virginia when i noticed some guy in a new Mazda RX-7 was tailgating me. I moved out of the way and he flew passed me. I then followed him because i was pissed. Not long after, it became a duel. I got ahead of him through the traffic and then he got a head of me. Then i noticed that his lane and my lane were completely empty. So i got into the left lane and opened up my bike, the bike took off and i was going about 120mph in the left lane while he was in the middle lane. I was catching up to the f**k*r so fast i knew that i would win. As soon as i was about to pass him, i looked at my dashboard and my bike was taching 9000rpm and i was in 5th gear, so roughly i was going 120mph. I was in the left lane catching up to the RX-7 which was in the middle lane. As soon as my front wheel was beside his rear bumper, the f**k*r weaves his car into my lane and hits his brakes until his wheels almost lock up. At that point i had 2 choices, i could of hit his car with my bike and flipped over his car and let him run over me. Or i could just lay my bike down and let it slide underneath his car. I decided to lay it down....[/align] [align=left] I fell off at 120mph and started rolling on the road. I had on windbreakers which totally got shreaded. My starter jacked had huge holes in it and was smoking when i stopped rolling. My right leg had no skin from the ankle to my a*$. My a*$ even got some road rash. There was gravel engraved in my right hand which had no skin on the palm. Basically I was f**k*d. My helmet cracked. I got up from the wreck and my shoe was full of blood. I got up and i saw my bike about 60 yards away from where I stopped rolling. A guy stops and asks me if i wanted some pants because I was totally naked. My a*$ was hanging out all bloody I dont think any girls would of liked to see it. I was pissed.
[/align][align=left]
[/align][align=left][/align][align=left]The bike[/align][align=left]
[/align][align=left][/align]
[align=left]Front wheel


THE COPS:[/align] [align=left]The cops came when I was in the operating room and they came up to me and asked me how fast I was going, I had to lie and I told him 75mph. The f**k*r starts laughing at me. The guy reads me my rights while I was on the hospital bed and makes me sign five tickets for the accident. They are:[/align] [align=left]1. 120mph in a 55mph zone [/align] [align=left]2. Driving with no insurance[/align] [align=left]3. Driving with no serial number[/align] [align=left]4. Invalid registration[/align] [align=left]5. No inspection sticker[/align] [align=left]A grand total of 18 points[/align] [align=left][/align] [align=left]THE COURT DATE:[/align] [align=left]The court date came around and i was scared as $h!+. It just so happened that there was a witness in court who testified against me. The old man was a witness who saw the whole thing. The judge asks him what he saw and he goes, "I looked out of my right window and see a green RX-7 pass by at a high speed. Then I looked into my rear view mirror and I saw a bat out of hell coming. Then I looked in my side mirror and I saw his body roll pass my car and I look at my speedo and it was reading 70mph. My wife almost had a heart attack seeing the guy pass my car rolling on the concrete." [/align] [align=left]The witness looked as if he was about to cry and the judge listened to him and gave me 3 days in jail for my tickets and a $800 fine. Not to mention the 18 points I got on my license.
[/align][align=left]
[/align][align=left][/align][align=left]Starter Jacket[/align][align=left]
[/align][align=left][/align][align=left]The Glove[/align][align=left]
[/align][align=left][/align][align=left]The pants[/align][align=left]
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[/align]AFTER MATH: My love for sportbikes lives on... I'm not going to let some idiot who wanted to kill me hurt my love for motorcycles.. I will continue riding one of the ultamate machines that man has ever developed. I luckily escaped with a scar on my right leg and all the road rash vanished after about a month.